How Journaling for Self-Awareness Helped Me Discover My True Needs — Not Just What Was Expected 🧐

For a long time, I lived by everyone else’s checklist. ✅ Be productive. ✅ Stay strong. ✅ Keep it together. ✅ Maintain your Superwoman identity.

The world has a funny way of rewarding you for looking like you’ve got it all under control — even when inside, you’re running on empty.

I thought I was doing everything “right.” I hit my goals, checked the boxes, & said yes to every request (even the ones I didn’t want to do). But when I finally slowed down enough to breathe, I realized I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore. I knew what people expected of me, but not what I truly needed to feel at peace. Hell, I was clueless on what peace even meant!

Damn near rock bottom hit, & I was spiraling. Everything & every relationship was chaotic, & I had zero insight on why. That’s when journaling for self-discovery became my turning point.

Journaling Showed Me My Truth 🪞

When I first started journaling, it wasn’t neat or organized. Some days it looked like a rant. Other days, a prayer. Sometimes, just a sentence like: “I don’t feel like myself.” Regardless, I wrote something every night, & I do mean EVERY NIGHT.

But that was the beauty of it.

For the first time, I wasn’t performing. I wasn’t curating my words or trying to make sense to anyone else. I was just being honest, & that honesty was sometimes brutal.

Through those pages, I started hearing my own voice again — the one that had been buried under expectations, responsibilities, & perfectionism; the one that said “you’re gonna be ok” when I felt all hope was lost; the one that embrace a “take me as I am” attitude. My self-discovery journaling practice became a mirror, reflecting what I actually needed instead of what I’d been told I should want, & that wasn’t found in people or things.

I Discovered My Real Needs Were Simpler Than I Thought 🫡

I didn’t need more accomplishments. I needed rest. I didn’t need more “me time” filled with tasks. I needed stillness — quiet moments where I could just exist without guilt. I didn’t need to save everyone. I needed to save myself.

Journaling for self-awareness & self-discovery helped me see that my self-care wasn’t about bubble baths or fancy routines. Yeah, those were cute, but they weren’t handling the inner work I needed to do. It was about honoring what my body, mind, & spirit were asking for — even when it didn’t look productive.

The lack of productivity is something I still struggle with. Being still (unless I’m on vacation) is extremely difficult. Guilt makes me feel like I’m wasting time that I could be using to do something else. I continuously reprogram my thinking into “rest is doing something.” It takes some effort, but it’s doable.

How You Can Use Journaling for Self-Discovery 💡

When in doubt, journal it out!

If you’re used to meeting expectations — from work, family, or even yourself — it can feel strange to pause & ask, “But what do I actually need right now?” Journaling can help you find that answer. Here are a few ways to start:

1. Ask the right questions.

   Try prompts like:

   • “What do I need more of in my life right now?”

   • “What am I pretending is fine, but really isn’t?”

   • “If I wasn’t worried about disappointing anyone, what would I choose for myself?”

   
   

2. Write without editing.

   Don’t try to sound wise or polished. Let your thoughts spill out — messy, emotional, or uncertain. That’s where the truth hides.

   
   

3. Notice patterns.

   Over time, you’ll start to see recurring themes — what drains you, what excites you, what you crave more of. That’s insight you can trust.

   
   

4. Take one small step.

   Once you recognize what you need, honor it — even if it’s just saying no once, taking a mental health day, or spending five minutes in quiet each morning.

The Power of Listening to Yourself 💪🏽

Journaling for self-discovery taught me that my needs aren’t negotiable. They’re not selfish or inconvenient — they’re sacred. When I finally stop performing for what is expected & remember to nurture what is authentic, I find balance, peace, & self-trust. Sometimes I have to start over from step one, but the only thing that matters is that I did something.

And that’s what I want for you, too.

If you’re ready to reconnect with what you truly need — not what others expect — start journaling today. Your answers are already inside you. You just need to give them a voice.

Ready to start your journaling for self-discovery journey? Explore our Intentional Journals — created to help busy women slow down, reflect, & rediscover themselves through mindful writing & self-care. And come join in on our free monthly H.E.R.E. Unfiltered live journaling sessions. We’ll announce the next date on social media soon.