Sis, Let’s Be Honest: Why Self-Honesty is the First Step to Self-Care

Hey sis, can we have a little real talk moment? Because here’s the truth—self-care doesn’t start with candles, bubble baths, or fancy journals (although, let’s be honest, those don’t hurt either). The real first step is self-honesty. Yep, looking yourself in the mirror & saying, “Girl, I am not okay,” even when you’ve been saying “I’m fine” on autopilot for weeks.

Here’s the thing: you can’t care for yourself if you’re not honest about what you actually need. You can’t fix exhaustion if you keep telling yourself you just need “one more cup of coffee.” You can’t tackle burnout if you’re still calling it “just a busy season” that somehow never ends. Pot, meet kettle! 💯

So let’s break this down, girlfriend-to-girlfriend, because I promise you—getting honest with yourself will change the way you approach self-care.

She's here to save the day!

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1. Admit when you’re tired (& not just regular tired)

We’ve all done it: pushed through, yawned at our desk, & called it “being productive.” But sometimes “tired” is really “I haven’t rested in a month.” Honesty check: Are you actually resting or just scrolling TikTok until your brain numbs out?

This one is me staring myself in the mirror & saying “that’s you!” October is hella busy for me, & I’m tired as I write this. At some point each week, I’m going to have to find time to sit down & say “no.”

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2. Call out your “fake self-care”

Sis, painting your nails while ignoring your stress is not self-care—it’s distraction. Self-care isn’t about looking polished; it’s about feeling whole. Be real about what you’re doing: is it truly helping you recharge, or is it just covering up the overwhelm?

My “fake self-care” would be a bubble bath, especially since I don’t like sitting in a tub with dirty water swirling around me. The real self-care is pressing the DND button on my phone, having decompression sessions with my stylist/therapist, & disappearing on vacation. Those all recharge me with very little effort.

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3. Own your “yes” & your “no”

We love to say “yes,” even when our schedule is screaming “no.” Self-honesty means admitting when you’re overbooked, overcommitted, & over it. Sometimes the most caring thing you can do for yourself is practicing a guilt-free “nah, not this time.”

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4. Stop pretending you’re Superwoman

You’re amazing, but you’re human. (Even Beyoncé has a team, okay?) Self-honesty is saying: “I can’t do it all, & that’s okay.” Let yourself drop the cape once in a while. Spoiler: the world won’t fall apart, but you might if you don’t slow down.

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5. Ask yourself the hard question: What do I really need?

Do you need sleep? A therapist? A girls’ night? A solo trip to Target with a latte & no kids in tow? (Let’s be real, that is therapy.) Be honest about the thing your body, mind, or soul is craving—not what looks good on Instagram.

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Final Word

Ooooh, who would’ve known this week’s blog would be a whole convo with myself?! I need to do some re-evaluating outchea!

Self-honesty isn’t always cute, but it’s necessary. The moment you stop lying to yourself about how tired, stressed, or burnt out you are—that’s the moment you can actually give yourself the self-care you deserve.

So, sis, next time someone asks how you’re doing, maybe skip the autopilot “I’m fine” & try the honest version. Because the sooner you get real, the sooner you can start healing.