Burnout isn’t just about physical exhaustion—it’s the silent scream of your mental & emotional bandwidth maxing out. If you're constantly tired, irritated, & feeling like your to-do list is never-ending, you might be doing too much. And this is coming from the Queen of To-Do Lists who seems to be doing too much too often.

As women, especially those of us who are wives & mothers, we frequently feel like we can't take a moment for ourselves. As soon as we think about stealing a few minutes to recharge or just escape mentally, here comes the negative feelings. Either somebody is gonna throw the puppy dog eyes at us, or our conscience starts whispering "now girl, you know you should be doing..."

There are ways to get around that heavy feeling that enters the room, the one that prevents you from taking a pause without guilt. However, you have to know your opponent in order to defeat the enemy. Here are five signs you’re overwhelmed & a few simple, guilt-free ways to hit pause:

Signs You’re Doing Too Much 🫨:

1. You forget things easily. Your brain is overloaded & struggling to keep up. Chile, this is me all the time. This brain stays on 10, starts crossing up information, & then I end up frustrated because I have no clue what I was supposed to be doing. Guess it can't all be blamed on aging...

   
   

2. You feel resentful. Even small asks feel like big demands. Yeah, I have to do some self-talk on the regular to say "Meia, fix your face." One of the most annoying things to me is to ask me to do something when you already know I have a lot going on (which happens all the time because I'm the go-to person). When it comes to a point where you don’t like doing something, you’ll know it’s time to stop.

3. You have trouble sleeping. Your mind won't shut off at night. It doesn’t even have to be said louder for the people in the back. I feel attacked for being called out like this 🫣. It's all facts though.

4. You lack joy in things you usually enjoy. Burnout steals your spark. Without energy, you feel like doing even less. You don't even want to move to eat or use the bathroom. You just want to be.

5. You always feel behind. No matter how much you do, it never feels like enough. "This a Rollie, not a stopwatch, sh*t don't ever stop" anyone??? Guilty, yet again, but I’ve also noticed that I overload myself with things to do & don’t do well with asking for help.

Full transparency, all of the above are me probably 75% of the week. Me just staying in constant grind mode, & that's not good, not healthy, & not it! And I definitely feel guilty if I can't follow through with something on my agenda, especially if it's for someone else. People pleasing will leave you exhausted.

However, I've learned some ways to pause without feeling guilty, especially when you know you're doing too much. A few are:

• Give yourself permission. Rest isn’t earned—it’s essential. Our bodies aren't built to keep going. Eventually you'll crash & burn. Been there, done that several times, & there's nothing fun about not being able to move even when you want or need to. Take the time, sis, no matter how long or short it is.

  
  

• Set micro-boundaries. Say "no" or delegate one thing today. "No" has become one of my new favorite words. People will suck you dry & then look at you crazy when you can no longer max out for them. Look on, honey, because I got a new attitude.

  
  

  One of my micro-boundaries is my nighttime routine. Phone goes on DND for Personal Time for an hour. Nobody is getting through, & I'm taking time out to wind down from the day. This is when I plan my next day's top 3 tasks to focus on, take a relaxing shower, do a wind down yoga session, read some of the Bible, & crack my good ol' journal open to decompress. Babyyyyy...journaling will lift weigh off your shoulders!

• Schedule nothing. Block time in your planner for mental rest. I've been trying to block off 2 hours per week for myself to do nothing. Lately, I haven't been very successful, but it's coming. I have to check a few more important things off the list first over the next couple of months, & then it's on! MANDATORY!

• Celebrate small pauses. A 10-minute break counts. Those short pauses work wonders. When I get frustrated at work, I hit the team with "BRB," leave the desk, & just breathe. Stretching helps, getting a snack is always good, & taking a walk never hurts. Pat yourself on the back for taking a break.

• Replace guilt with gratitude. Thank yourself for listening to your needs. We're all still breathing, so we all have something to be grateful for. Things could be worse, a lot worse. Just think about your lowest times & compare them to now. You might be surprised at how far you've come.

Taking a break doesn’t make you lazy—it keeps you well. Let your pause be an intentional act of self-preservation. And while you're at it, pick up a journal to begin a new journey. You won't need another for at least a year, & you'll have a copy when you attend H.E.R.E. Unfiltered, our monthly live journaling session. The next session is this Sunday, May 4th at 3pm, so add it to your calendar as “SELF-CARE.”